The Movie
by Lord Dionysus
Summary: Its the Glee club movie night and the New Directions decide to watch a movie with no title on its cover. They soon realize what a mistake that is. got this idea from a couple of comedy shows please review


"I just don't understand why we cant…"

"We are not watching Human Centipede." Mike cut Puck off.

" I'm still getting over Hostel part 2" chimed Mercedes.

"Shouldn't we be worried that Blaine is the only one that didn't get freaked out by that movie?" Sam asked who was sitting next to his girlfriend.

"My brother tricked me into seeing two girls and a cup…. Nothing freaks me out anymore" Blaine replied as he bit into a chocolate cupcake. It was Glee movie night and it was Tina's turn to have everyone over.

"Wow Berry never pegged you for a girl who liked Doritos." Santana said as she observed that Rachel practically finished an entire bowl of the cheesy chips.

"My fathers never buy processed food. Sweet God all mighty these things are delicious!" Rachel shoved another handful into her mouth and gave Rory a scornful look when he reached for some.

"So what movie are we watching?" Santana was starting to get impatient.

"I wouldn't mind seeing a musical" Kurt piped up.

"No way you're picking the movie Hummel…. I'm still pissed you made us sit through pretty woman." Puck narrowed his eyes at his best friends stepbrother.

"No chick flicks" he added.

"Puck you're just upset because you got caught crying when we watched terms of endearment." Teased Sugar who was sitting on Arties lap. Puck ignored her.

"How about an action movie." Finn was looking through the piles of movies everyone brought.

"Who brought this one?" he showed everyone a CD case with a blank CD.

"I took it from my brothers room. He had some of my Disney films and I guess I took it by accident." Brittany explained as she came back from the kitchen with a in hand.

"Lets take a look" Artie suggested. Finn slipped the disk into the DVD player then sat next to Rachel who was peeved she had no more chips to eat.

The title sequence appeared on the flat screen and was accompanied by cheesy music.

" I've never heard of this movie." Mercedes said.

"Good and nasty sounds wearied for a movie title." Sam spoke tilting his head. The movie started and a man and woman were on the screen.

"I've never seen these actors before." Mike looked at Tina who shared his confusion.

"Why is she unzipping his pants…OH MY GOD IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS?" Quinn was absolutely mortified.

"I never knew it could be that size," Tina gasped

"No wonder he has bad posture." Rachel added as she saw the sight before her.

"Brittany this is a PORNO!" Kurt spoke his cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

"Wow it's barely been five minutes and they're already into it." Lauren was amazed.

"My rabbit back home couldn't compete" Rory dead panned.

"We did that once." Everyone was surprised by Sugars outburst as she pointed to something the man and woman were doing.

"Yeah and I nearly chipped a tooth." Artie muttered.

"I don't think that's meant to go there." Blaine chimed. Everyone jumped when the couple did something really freaky.

"Now I defiantly know THAT'S not meant to go there." The ex warbler added.

"Is it sad that I'm grossed out but cant stop looking?" Quinn asked as she winced at something the couple just did.

"Rachel maybe we can try that?" Finn suggested to his girlfriend pointing at the screen. Everyone let out another gasp.

"Yeah, Finn honey their is no way I can contort myself into that position." Rachel replied.

"Rachel I don't think any one can." Mercedes added.

"This is such bull crap she hasn't even done anything with her ankles." Santana spoke giving a disgusted look.

"What can people possibly do with their ankles?" Kurt asked.

"Brittany whispered into the sopranos ear.

"Wow" Kurt was surprised.

'This is the grossest porno I've ever seen." Puck crocked.

"Porno's are supposed to be about pleasure right?" Tina looked at Mike.

"Yeah" he said wondering what his girlfriend was trying to ask him.

"Then why is she calling him a filthy man slut and tazing him?"

"Every one has their kinks." Quinn cringed and hid her face into the crook of Rory's shoulder.

"Now that has to be illegal." Lauren was next to speak.

""Only in Germany and the Kaman Islands." Puck whispered. Before they knew it the flick was over.

"I'm going to have to soak my eyes in cleaning solution." Blain said to Kurt.

"I'm going to burn mine" Mercedes gagged.

"I don't think ill ever be able to have sex ever again" Rachel whined. Finn looked at her with shock.

Later:

Santana was driving Brittany home after the New Directions watched a real movie.

"Well that was disturbing." Santana broke the silence.

"Sorry San." Brittany apologized.

"Babe its fine, it was actually really funny." Both girls laughed.

"I'm just curious who the sick basterd was who made that movie." The Latina added.

"My brother." Brittany answered.

The end.


End file.
